History:

24 yrs old, grew up in the states since i was 6.
dated white girls until i was 20. dated half white/asian girls for a bit, then onto full asians the last couple of years.

Topic of post:

At first I thought it was a white thing, where white girls couldnt cook and didnt know how to take care of their partner. Great lovers, though.
Half white/asian girls are definitely cute, but they are clueless as to what their culture is (cooking +1).
Full asians have been mmm...interesting.

Im beginning to think I dont know what it is Im looking for, I've dated way too many as it is. How is it some people can date for 6 months and know they'll be together forever?

Anyways I've had this conversation with my grandmother every time I go back the last few years, that I want to marry a Japanese girl. She says that even Japanese girls these days do not know how to uphold their side of the relationship (i.e., our contractor to build our house would go nuts when my grandmother would make something for him...he says that his wife sleeps in the mornings, and he has to go buy his lunch... )

I think my post sounds a bit sexist, perhaps...I've had a couple of great girls that were caring like that, but I dunno, I guess Im just too picky.

When my mom was growing up and she left Japan for the US, it was a shock to my whole family...her generation of females were when girls started leaving their homes.
Nowadays, girls have become very independent, yet they have forgotten how to be a female partner? Set me straight!

don't know really what to say abt. this one

so i'll just let my hand to do the thinking

i don't think it's only the gals that changed but it's also the guys

abt the gals:
that is really what great in this world there's always a space and time for changed.
as for me i don't wanna marry someone i don't know or that was arranged by my parents, unlioke the old days wherein arranged marriage where practice.
abt. the cooking thing you can't really force a woman to cook they must have the desire to learn the cooking thing...

btw. i'm a canned person can't even cooked a hardboiled egg and sunny side up, it always turn up too much or too less.

so i'm into steaming foods..

as for the women who leave their home
i think everyone including me thinks that leaving independtly is cooooooooool.
some ppl. just over do it; theire trying to be cool even they haven't the guts, money, or anything of whatsoever u need to be independent

To tell the truth, if you are looking for a female who is traditional in a motherly, caring way, they are a rare species but they definitely exist. The thing is, what else are you looking for in a female? That she's intelligent and have the same interests as you? Or something else? You say that you don't know what you are looking for, maybe it's because there are too many things you are looking for. You've got to realize tho that when you have so many traits you wish a girl would have, sometimes you have to compromise, your dream girl can't actually exist. There are always going to be traits that she has that you wish she doesn't have. You just have to find someone with faults that you can live with...and if you can't compromise at all, then you need to learn to compromise or else you are never going to find that someone.
I'm sure you probably know all this, and it's definitely easier said than done, but it's really the best advice I can give you ^.^ Hope this helped a little...sorry if I sound a little condescending or pushy...it's kind of hard to get across tone of voice with only words. I hope I got my message across tho...Good luck!
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zchendevlemh wrote:

abt. the cooking thing you can't really force a woman to cook they must have the desire to learn the cooking thing...

you're right on with that one.

Jeanxi wrote:

You just have to find someone with faults that you can live with...and if you can't compromise at all, then you need to learn to compromise or else you are never going to find that someone.

that almost sounds like 'settling' for someone, but definitely realistic. i think once you've been in love with someone, you know the ins and outs about the compromising point...at least i do.
i guess what im thinking is i always end-up disappointed. my thing is at around 6 months you can tell and see a person's true colors...then it's like i have to get out of there.

anyways i know there's a chick out there for me, who can surf, is athletic, smart, witty, humorous, kinda to others...considerate...open minded...down to earth...laid back...who can whip up a quick dinner with whatever we can find in the fridge.

chicks can thank my mom for spoilin me.

thanks for responding

Ikumu wrote:

i guess what im thinking is i always end-up disappointed. my thing is at around 6 months you can tell and see a person's true colors...then it's like i have to get out of there.

It sounded more like of a 'commitment-phobia' to me

Ikumu wrote:

anyways i know there's a chick out there for me, who can surf, is athletic, smart, witty, humorous, kinda to others...considerate...open minded...down to earth...laid back...who can whip up a quick dinner with whatever we can find in the fridge.

You might want to look for someone that you (really) need to complete each other.
Not only someone that you want. Bcause, in that case, it's hard to find.
(usually.. IMO)

Ikumu wrote:

anyways i know there's a chick out there for me, who can surf, is athletic, smart, witty, humorous, kinda to others...considerate...open minded...down to earth...laid back...who can whip up a quick dinner with whatever we can find in the fridge. chicks can thank my mom for spoilin me. thanks for responding

Dude..don't compare your girlfriends with your mom..

Akakage wrote:

Dude..don't compare your girlfriends with your mom..

yep. prospective GF's/wives tend to hate those references, ask any female friend that you know. as a matter of fact, �Ȃ񂩁A������Ƃ������B�B�B
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Here's my Facebook page:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=logo#/kwan1?ref=profile

Ikumu wrote:

History: At first I thought it was a white thing, where white girls couldnt cook and didnt know how to take care of their partner. Anyways I've had this conversation with my grandmother... She says that even Japanese girls these days do not know how to uphold their side of the relationship.

I've been casually studying this the last 2 years. In the USA, asian women promote themselves as being more family oriented and having better domestic skills than caucasian women; caucasian women make no similar claims. As I'm a rather social guy, I've put together rough statistics regarding asians and caucasians in their 20s and to early 30s.

Among men who are at least a couple years out of college or age 24+, over 80% of asian men claim to know how to cook. In this case, cooking is defined as the ability to toss together at least 10 different entrees without using a cookbook, and the ability to look in a reasonably well stocked refridgerator and put together a meal from just what's present. Among caucasian men, the number drops to between 50% and 60%.

Among women who are at least a couple years out of college or age 24+, using the same definition of cooking ability, less than 10% of asian women know how to cook. Among caucasian, the number is between 20% and 30%.

When asked what domestic activities they actually perform around the home, the general replies of asian women were:
1. doing their own laundry
2. English translations
3. giving rides/transportation for parents

Strangely, among asian women, many now consider it a status symbol to not be able to cook and not clean. They regard it as a responsibility of their parents or of their future husbands.


Interpret this as you like. These have been the findings of my informal research. There's more as well, but I'll keep this relatively brief.
-PCM

niko2x wrote:

yep. prospective GF's/wives tend to hate those references, ask any female friend that you know. as a matter of fact, �Ȃ񂩁A������Ƃ������B�B�B

my point exactly.

Learn how to be self-sufficient and quit trying to find another mother. Times have changed... and men no longer have the "pull" they used to.

As the world gets closer and closer, women begin to come to the conclusion that "their role" as a female in relationships has been a load of **** that runs generations deep.

Nowadays, most of the women that continue to do nothing but "pamper" their men are the weaker of the sex... and have nothing to offer but a clean house, a set table, and a dead lay.
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seriously, the more educated you are, the more independent you are. and the more you'll want to start a family early. (maybe this is all a given..hehe )

lisasan wrote:

seriously, the more educated you are, the more independent you are. and the more you'll want to start a family early. (maybe this is all a given..hehe )

Actually, based on statistics in the USA, more educated people start families a LOT later.
-PCM

lisasan wrote:

seriously, the more educated you are, the more independent you are. and the more you'll want to start a family early. (maybe this is all a given..hehe )

Generally, it seems that the independant and more educated of women are waiting to start their families.
I think it's a wise decision given the state of the world's super-powers right now.
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pcmodem and I are in mindlink. lol
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Ushiroyubi wrote:

pcmodem and I are in mindlink. lol

Uh oh, you don't want to be in a mindlink with me, I'm a naughty and silly person!
-PCM

pcmodem wrote:

Uh oh, you don't want to be in a mindlink with me, I'm a naughty and silly person! -PCM

I'm worse.
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pcmodem wrote:

Actually, based on statistics in the USA, more educated people start families a LOT later. -PCM

ohh, whoops, yea, i meant that. haha

lol, i just brought my mom up b/c i think in most cultures it's known to lean toward your mom/dad when it comes to finding a spouse. sorry bout that.

im not sure if i gave off the impression that im not independent, but i've been living on my own for the last 6 years and i got things like mabo dofu, miso ramen and things of that nature in my repertoire. it ends up being that i take care of my partners, ask my ex's

im nowhere near at the point where i want to get that serious to marry someone, i still have plans for myself before that comes along...that's why im about to break it off with my current gf of six months.

anyways it's interesting to hear what you all have to say, i dont mean to judge but i get a good idea from your responses

Quote:

Times have changed... and men no longer have the "pull" they used to. As the world gets closer and closer, women begin to come to the conclusion that "their role" as a female in relationships has been a load of **** that runs generations deep. Nowadays, most of the women that continue to do nothing but "pamper" their men are the weaker of the sex... and have nothing to offer but a clean house, a set table, and a dead lay.

They say that gender roles of man and woman in modern society are being exchanged. So we can end up in having all the guys sitting home and do this laundry and cooking thing and all gals out there making big bucks and bragging about the cars they recently bought. This is an exaggeration, of course, and though I personally dont have anything against this but something tells me that, as it usually goes with mankind, we wont stop in between ( which would be the best solution I guess ) and in a while we`ll have the same good ole man-and-woman relationship model just turned upside down.

Seriously speaking, just take your be-loved as he or she is, not trying to change a single trait. When you`re trying to change someone, to make him/her suit you you re just creating a clone of yourself. And true love is freedom. And Im starting to sound like a preacher.