bmwracer wrote:

Whitewashed? duskyduck wrote: Asian men behaving like non-Asian?

Sorry I am confused! What exactly does behaving like a non-Asian mean?



@EstherM: Were you on a blind date when the Japanese man made those rude remarks to you?

Yes ,i would date,and -why not -get married to someone from another race.
It's a tradition in my family,anyway.My aunt is married to a Japanese for over 30 years,live a happy life,my mom's bro is married to a black,live a happy life.
I was dreaming to marry Toshiro Mifune,but I was a kid and now is too late.
Anyway I could marry Yutaka but I forgot I'm married to a Greek.
What a mess...
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Enna wrote:

Sorry I am confused! What exactly does behaving like a non-Asian mean?

That means not following family/Asian traditions, I think.

Guess that would mean me.

Enna wrote:

@EstherM: Were you on a blind date when the Japanese man made those rude remarks to you?

No just regular dates – and I might add alcohol wasn't involved. I don�ft take it too personal.

yutakagr wrote:

Anyway I could marry Yutaka but I forgot I'm married to a Greek. What a mess...

Competition would be stiff anyway.

bmwracer wrote:

That means not following family/Asian traditions, I think. Guess that would mean me.

Tradition-orientated men (in general) have it of course more difficult in the Western dating world. Women nowadays are no longer just looking for qualities as protection and safety.

yutakagr wrote:

Anyway I could marry Yutaka but I forgot I'm married to a Greek. What a mess...

You trying to make me die from laughter eh?

EstherM wrote:

Competition would be stiff anyway.

duskyduck wrote:

Asian men behaving like non-Asian?

Whitewashed just refers to someone who acts White. haha

kokoandkiko wrote:

Whitewashed just refers to someone who acts White. haha

I figured as much, but what constitutes acting White?

kokoandkiko wrote:

Whitewashed just refers to someone who acts White. haha

Yeah I think we all figured out the 'white' part of your whitewashed reference. The real question is... How does someone act White?

bmwracer wrote:

I figured as much, but what constitutes acting White?

GMTA!

bmwracer wrote:

That means not following family/Asian traditions, I think. Guess that would mean me.

Thanks b-kun! At least your answer makes sense.

EstherM wrote:

No just regular dates – and I might add alcohol wasn't involved. I don�ft take it too personal.

Thanks EstherM for your answer. I wonder if any of those guys would have said the same type of things to a Japanese woman they were dating? Or are very direct or blunt questions or statements all just part of the Japanese dating experience?

yutakagr wrote:

Yes ,i would date,and -why not -get married to someone from another race. It's a tradition in my family,anyway.My aunt is married to a Japanese for over 30 years,live a happy life,my mom's bro is married to a black,live a happy life. I was dreaming to marry Toshiro Mifune,but I was a kid and now is too late. Anyway I could marry Yutaka but I forgot I'm married to a Greek. What a mess...

Your family sounds like a mini UN! Ohh a fellow Toshiro Mifune fan! He had a universal appeal!!!

Enna wrote:

Yeah I think we all figured out the 'white' part of your whitewashed reference. The real question is... How does someone act White?

bmwracer wrote:

I figured as much, but what constitutes acting White?

I believe that�Ls a bit of an ill-chosen term. Westernized would be probably more accurate. Occident versus Orient perhaps?

Europe, the Americas, the Antipodes, in short the Western world isn�Lt white (has never been and humankind orginated probably in Africa anyway) but a mosaic of different races so in my opinion acting white is slang for acting Western. Even so, the amount of people seeing themselves as citizen of the world is positively growing. And that�Ls a fantastic thing.

Enna wrote:

Ohh a fellow Toshiro Mifune fan! He had a universal appeal!!!

Toshiro is ,was,will be THE most talented Japanese actor ever.We love Mifune-san,like he was our actor.(Kurosawa is also a Legend.)
I've seen many of his movies(hope all of them) and I'm so proud I own them.
Favorite series:Shogun :victory:Toranaga-san

On topic:

I WANT TO DATE/MARRY A JAPANESE.Around 1.80,40 years old.
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GACKT!!!

kokoandkiko wrote:

OL! That is kinda true...Here in the US, I find Asian men to be a little more feminine than non-Asian men and I always see Asian girls with non-Asian guys...Yellow fever! However, if I do see Asian men with non-Asian women, the Asian dude's whitewashed. lol EstherM wrote: I believe that�Ls a bit of an ill-chosen term. Westernized would be probably more accurate. Occident versus Orient perhaps? Europe, the Americas, the Antipodes, in short the Western world isn�Lt white (has never been and humankind orginated probably in Africa anyway) but a mosaic of different races so in my opinion acting white is slang for acting Western. Even so, the amount of people seeing themselves as citizen of the world is positively growing. And that�Ls a fantastic thing.

I appreciate your answer EstherM and agree it would be great if we could all see ourselves as citizens of the world. However the reason I asked kokoandkiko for clarification of the terms 'whitewashed' and 'acting white' was because he or she was talking about US Asian and non-Asian couples who were dating. So wouldn't they all be Westernized?

Actually I find the term 'acting white' amusing. I haven't heard that expression in a long time. Black folks used to use that term. I know what it means when black people say it to each other. That is why I was curious about what it meant when Asians use that expression.

I remember when Anna and the King came out (with Chow-Yun Fat), I could see a lot more "Bruce Lee" couples (Caucasian woman with Asian man) than I see now. Of course "John Lennon" couples (Asian woman with Caucasian man) are always more common.
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Wow! The hot topic du jour. Here's my take on dating a Japanese guy. If he asks you out, it's because he likes you (obviously) and probably has marriage in mind. If he likes you after this first date, he's likely to point out your flaws. Nothing rude here. Just conventions. If you're overweight for example, he'll expects you to say, "I want to get slim so I may please my husband." Or, "I want to learn to become a good cook so my husband will be please with me (and not beat me up)." My suggested answers: "I intend to lose half of kilo (that's a pound) for every 10,000 yen you'll earn in extra monthly income." And "I'll learn to be a good cook after you learn how to romance a girl." If he still likes you after that, he'll want to introduce you to his family. Remember, you don't be marry a guy in Japan, you marry his family. By the time they meet you, they'll know all about your flaws, and they'll talk endlessly about the virtues of a good Japanese wife while praising those of their son as if he had already reached sainthood. They'll expect you to nod and agree. I suggest you drop a little comment just to show you've got a personality, something like, "If it's a servant His Saintness needs, why doesn't he hire one?" If you pass the family test, the next step is to introduce him to your family. Here's your chance to gauge his humor. Tell him, "My Gypsy in-laws are visiting. Bring a guitar." In the final step before he pushes ze ring across the dinner table with a trembling hand, he will want to come to your place. Not just to see how good you are in bed, but also to see how you'll keep his house. If he takes you a love hotel, it means marriage flew out of his mind. So tell him, "No, honey. That's where I work at night."
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shari wrote:

Wow! The hot topic du jour. Here's my take on dating a Japanese guy. If he asks you out, it's because he likes you (obviously) and probably has marriage in mind. If he likes you after this first date, he's likely to point out your flaws. Nothing rude here. Just conventions. If you're overweight for example, he'll expects you to say, "I want to get slim so I may please my husband." Or, "I want to learn to become a good cook so my husband will be please with me (and not beat me up)." My suggested answers: "I intend to lose half of kilo (that's a pound) for every 10,000 yen you'll earn in extra monthly income." And "I'll learn to be a good cook after you learn how to romance a girl." If he still likes you after that, he'll want to introduce you to his family. Remember, you don't be marry a guy in Japan, you marry his family. By the time they meet you, they'll know all about your flaws, and they'll talk endlessly about the virtues of a good Japanese wife while praising those of their son as if he had already reached sainthood. They'll expect you to nod and agree. I suggest you drop a little comment just to show you've got a personality, something like, "If it's a servant His Saintness needs, why doesn't he hire one?" If you pass the family test, the next step is to introduce him to your family. Here's your chance to gauge his humor. Tell him, "My Gypsy in-laws are visiting. Bring a guitar." In the final step before he pushes ze ring across the dinner table with a trembling hand, he will want to come to your place. Not just to see how good you are in bed, but also to see how you'll keep his house. If he takes you a love hotel, it means marriage flew out of his mind. So tell him, "No, honey. That's where I work at night."

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GACKT!!!

shari wrote:

Wow! The hot topic du jour. Here's my take on dating a Japanese guy. If he asks you out, it's because he likes you (obviously) and probably has marriage in mind. If he likes you after this first date, he's likely to point out your flaws. Nothing rude here. Just conventions. If you're overweight for example, he'll expects you to say, "I want to get slim so I may please my husband." Or, "I want to learn to become a good cook so my husband will be please with me (and not beat me up)." My suggested answers: "I intend to lose half of kilo (that's a pound) for every 10,000 yen you'll earn in extra monthly income." And "I'll learn to be a good cook after you learn how to romance a girl." If he still likes you after that, he'll want to introduce you to his family. Remember, you don't be marry a guy in Japan, you marry his family. By the time they meet you, they'll know all about your flaws, and they'll talk endlessly about the virtues of a good Japanese wife while praising those of their son as if he had already reached sainthood. They'll expect you to nod and agree. I suggest you drop a little comment just to show you've got a personality, something like, "If it's a servant His Saintness needs, why doesn't he hire one?" If you pass the family test, the next step is to introduce him to your family. Here's your chance to gauge his humor. Tell him, "My Gypsy in-laws are visiting. Bring a guitar." In the final step before he pushes ze ring across the dinner table with a trembling hand, he will want to come to your place. Not just to see how good you are in bed, but also to see how you'll keep his house. If he takes you a love hotel, it means marriage flew out of his mind. So tell him, "No, honey. That's where I work at night."

�O

Or just watch the drama Seigi no Mikata...

shari wrote:

Wow! The hot topic du jour. Here's my take on dating a Japanese guy. If he asks you out, it's because he likes you (obviously) and probably has marriage in mind. If he likes you after this first date, he's likely to point out your flaws. Nothing rude here. Just conventions. If you're overweight for example, he'll expects you to say, "I want to get slim so I may please my husband." Or, "I want to learn to become a good cook so my husband will be please with me (and not beat me up)." My suggested answers: "I intend to lose half of kilo (that's a pound) for every 10,000 yen you'll earn in extra monthly income." And "I'll learn to be a good cook after you learn how to romance a girl." If he still likes you after that, he'll want to introduce you to his family. Remember, you don't be marry a guy in Japan, you marry his family. By the time they meet you, they'll know all about your flaws, and they'll talk endlessly about the virtues of a good Japanese wife while praising those of their son as if he had already reached sainthood. They'll expect you to nod and agree. I suggest you drop a little comment just to show you've got a personality, something like, "If it's a servant His Saintness needs, why doesn't he hire one?" If you pass the family test, the next step is to introduce him to your family. Here's your chance to gauge his humor. Tell him, "My Gypsy in-laws are visiting. Bring a guitar." In the final step before he pushes ze ring across the dinner table with a trembling hand, he will want to come to your place. Not just to see how good you are in bed, but also to see how you'll keep his house. If he takes you a love hotel, it means marriage flew out of his mind. So tell him, "No, honey. That's where I work at night."

HAHA I like that
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suzzy wrote:

HAHA I like that

Me too
Shari thanks for this brilliant insight. I have taken notes on the lines to to take when dating a Japanese man!

shari wrote:

Wow! The hot topic du jour. Here's my take on dating a Japanese guy. If he asks you out, it's because he likes you (obviously) and probably has marriage in mind. If he likes you after this first date, he's likely to point out your flaws. Nothing rude here. Just conventions. If you're overweight for example, he'll expects you to say, "I want to get slim so I may please my husband." Or, "I want to learn to become a good cook so my husband will be please with me (and not beat me up)." My suggested answers: "I intend to lose half of kilo (that's a pound) for every 10,000 yen you'll earn in extra monthly income." And "I'll learn to be a good cook after you learn how to romance a girl." If he still likes you after that, he'll want to introduce you to his family. Remember, you don't be marry a guy in Japan, you marry his family. By the time they meet you, they'll know all about your flaws, and they'll talk endlessly about the virtues of a good Japanese wife while praising those of their son as if he had already reached sainthood. They'll expect you to nod and agree. I suggest you drop a little comment just to show you've got a personality, something like, "If it's a servant His Saintness needs, why doesn't he hire one?" If you pass the family test, the next step is to introduce him to your family. Here's your chance to gauge his humor. Tell him, "My Gypsy in-laws are visiting. Bring a guitar." In the final step before he pushes ze ring across the dinner table with a trembling hand, he will want to come to your place. Not just to see how good you are in bed, but also to see how you'll keep his house. If he takes you a love hotel, it means marriage flew out of his mind. So tell him, "No, honey. That's where I work at night."

Well that explains why the birth rate is on the decline in Japan. Thanks for the dating tips Shari.

bmwracer wrote:

Almost: no one here at work watches J-dramas.

You have to convert them.
I give newbies series about their favorite topics like Umizaru for one who is into scuba. Worked on a few.

Anime Dad wrote:

That's a bit rude!

Seems really rude to me.
(Ruder than I was to the guys in the bars in my early 20's.)

As I was told by my Tennis teacher at age 12.
"If you have nothing nice to say dont say anything at all." (or post it)
Or do as I do now and just PM it to another sympathetic jdorama member!!

bmwracer wrote:

I figured as much, but what constitutes acting White?

No kidding. Are we talking White Supremist or bleeding heart liberal? From the States or Europe. I think that goes for acting Asian as well. Are they from China, or Japan. If they are from the States do they act like Americans.......
I think this is a rather vague statement..... :

yutakagr wrote:

Anyway I could marry Yutaka but I forgot I'm married to a Greek. What a mess...

Just as well, or the ladies in the YT thread would be forced to kill you.....

shari wrote:

So tell him, "No, honey. That's where I work at night."

Like the way you keep things simple!


Ive never been asked out by a man with Asian blood in his background. Maybe Im too tall?
_________________

Trade or Distro
It's all good!

Check out my drama trade list: http://www.freewebs.com/evendrama/

Eve wrote:

No kidding. Are we talking White Supremist or bleeding heart liberal? From the States or Europe. I think that goes for acting Asian as well. Are they from China, or Japan. If they are from the States do they act like Americans....... I think this is a rather vague statement.....

@Eve - The term 'acting white' doesn't have anything to do with what type of white person they are referring to. If someone from a non-white ethnic group is dating a white person and then labeled as 'acting white' it usually means that they have forgotten or are denying their own culture or cultural experiences. Things like food, music, art, books, plays, concerts, movies, etc... It might even entail celebrating only certain holidays. Or it could be the way they start speaking. If a non-white person isn't honoring their own cultural richness, whatever it may be, and is only honoring their white date's cultural wealth, then they might be said to be 'acting white.' I'm not defending that expression, I am just explaining it as I understand it.